Anyway, Dill started out this Master Cleaning for I think two weeks, but he only made it through about 6 days. The son of a bitch looked gray by the end! Super awesome. He actually made it through the first two or three days without smoking, but he cracked and started sucking them down like that weird lemonade he was sucking down. Said he read up on the diet and it was supposed to be better than the grapefruit diet, whatever that means. We're big suckers for this stuff though, the both of us, so I can't call it into question too much, Anyway, Dill lost a few pounds but he ended up looking even doughier than before. I think his complexion improved a little though, so that's something.

I work with a chick who did the master cleanse last year and afterward she just swears by it, thinks it worked wonders and "jump-started" her metabolism or some crap. I wouldn't much know the difference since she weighs about 70 pounds anyway, but whatever. So, the master cleanse for weight loss... eh, I don't know. I'm not sold. And Dill doesn't much like to talk about it. ROTFL!

Fortunately, I'm not alone. I have a bunch of crazy and stupid friends who are in on this kick with me at least when they can think straight enough to put down the beer and the chicken wing and let the remote control slag out of their mouths long enough to feel guilty about what worthless slobs they've become. Yep, we're a real riot.

So this site is all about me talking about the crazy weight loss schemes me and my friends get ourselves into, charting any progress, backslides, or irreparable physical damage that we inflict upon ourselves. I'd like to say we do this shit so you don't have to, but the plain truth is we do it because we're crazy and we're old and we're fat. C'est la vie.